## CHANGE The steps of teshuva are intentionally ordered. Change precedes amends, precedes apology. The later steps are reliant on the harm-doer already walking the path of transformation. ​ Care for the harmed should be underway from the moment of the harm, but true amends cannot take place without introspection, without self-honesty. And neither can a true apology be given without truly understanding the plight of the harmed. As Ruttenberg states, "*only when a person does the work needed to become a different person can they, naturally and organically, make a different choice.*" A process which does not occur overnight, but must be undertaken for a lifetime. ​ In the time of Maimonides, this change may have literally involved: "crying out in tearful supplication, giving charity according to ones means, distancing oneself exceedingly from the thing causing the sin" and/or making choice "to change one's identity and conduct \[...] and exiling oneself from the place of residence". ​ ​​ So how does Judas stack up, does he indicate change (or at least an intention to change) in the few canonical passages he is afforded? ​ Terrible, of course. The answer is terribly. ​ Even accounting for the truncated timeline he is afforded, Judas is entirely occupied with a transactional exchange of amends for forgiveness. His giving of blood-money back to the temple is an act of regret[^1]; his suicide is an act of avoidance, or in the most generous reading, [[Amends#Suicide & Flagellation|an attempt to preserve his honour]]; and his exile is not taken in order to distance himself from sin (or further harm caused by his presence), it is taken out of fear. The greatest step of Change is to make [[Amends]]. [^1]: Perhaps, on a generous reading, Acts might imply a more considered tzedakah, using the blood-money (unusable by the temple; or undeserving of the temple) to free a potter from their non-arable land.